If you’ve been following my blog then you know that my dad is in a nursing home, well we go visit him on Saturdays and some weeks things with him are good and some days things with him are bad. And for me today is a bad day with my dad, as soon as I walked in the door he went to talking crazy and we’ve been over the issue that he brought up multiple times before and I get it, he wants to go home but that’s just not happening, he’s way past the point of being able to go home. That’s just not an option at this point in his life and he knows this but at times it’s like he loses track of reality and I get that in his old age and him not wanting to be in the nursing home and the fact that he hasn’t fully accepted that this is the point of where he is at 81 years old, it makes it hard for him to accept certain things.
So I get that I might sound unsupportive and like I’m not being a loving daughter but I’m also human and I can only take so much and I’ve hit yet another breaking point when it comes to my dad and his antics when we come to see him at times. And just because he’s old and in denial doesn’t mean that he has the right to treat us, me/my mom and especially when we are the people that do the most for him. I just think that I might have to stop coming to see my dad every week for a while and maybe start coming to see him every other week for a little while. sometimes we need to miss people and realize what we are missing and I may just need time away from my dad for my own sanity. I just needed to vent after walking into my dad room today and him instantly upsetting me and pushing me to yet another breaking point since he’s been in the nursing home. Sometimes I just need to vent, I’m human!