Category Archives: Uncategorized

One Year After Losing Prince

Yesterday was one year to the day of the death of one of the greatest entertainers that this world will ever know and the greatest genius of this time in my opinion. And I chose to remember him by watching all of his videos that MTV did in an eight episode tribute marathon and I dvred every episode and watched them all yesterday. I chose to sing, dance, smile and be happy celebrating his life and his music instead of being sad. And I had a great time and I know that’s how the purple one would want us fans being, happy celebrating him and his music instead of being sad.

Credits:

Diamonds And Pearls from Hotwax Residues on Vimeo.

Rest in purple paradise to the one and only purple one Prince, make more amazing music up there and I know that you’re rocking out on the guitar up there also. I’ll love and adore you forever my Prince, 4/21!

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Jackie Robinson Day

I’ve gotten into baseball recently and watching some of today’s/yesterday’s games and I’m learning that April 15th of every year in baseball is Jackie Robinson day and every teams players wear number 42 in honor/memory of him. And after seeing the movie called 42 about his life in baseball and seeing all that he went through just to play baseball, break barriers for black people and other minorities and just to share the gift that God gave him with the world was crazy to see. I’ve never had a movie make me so upset/made/angry and sad all in one like this 42 movie did. It literally had me in tears by the end, it was such a great/touching/heartbreaking/true story of how hard it was for black people back in the 1940’s and in baseball more then anything in this movie.

42-movie

It was a story/the story that needed to be told and I would like to think that Jackie Robinson would be proud of that movie and his story finally being told and it was so well told. So for me after seeing that movie and all these years later to see all these white baseball players wearing his number, when if this was 40-50 or more years ago some of these same white players would hate black baseball players. I feel like Jackie Robinson is finally getting the justice that he so deserves and I feel like he’s looking down having the last laugh and I feel like he’s looking down happy at how far we’ve come as black people but most importantly how far baseball has come. I feel like he’s looking down and is proud and happy.

jackie-robinson 2

I’ve definitely been sitting here crying some tonight knowing all of this, it makes me feel so many emotions inside but I know that all of the suffering that Jackie Robinson went through wasn’t for nothing. He’s the true definition of a hero and if it wasn’t for him who knows if black men would be playing baseball in the major leagues or at all for that matter. So as hard as it is knowing what Jackie Robinson went through it was all worth it in the end!

My Truth

Sitting here debating on if I wanted to share this particular posting or not because its more personal then probably anything else that I’ll share with you all but I want my blog to be a mixture of everything, fun things, random things, my opinion on certain things/people and personal things. And this is my truth and I should be able to share that and not be afraid. And as I always say I know that there are people that can always relate to what others go through or deal with. So with all of this being said, most people that know me don’t know that I have a sister because we’ve never been close and I don’t think that we ever will be and here’s why.

My dad didn’t raise her but he raised me, let me explain to you why. So my dad was born in 1935, yes my dad is 81 years and my sister is 58 years old from what my dad tells me. But back when she was born black people had to work and work meant traveling around from state to state. So from what my dad tells me he couldn’t take my sister on the road with him from state to state/place to place, so he left her with his mother to raise since her mom didn’t want her from what I’ve been told. So my dad was the only parent that she had. So from what my dad has always told me he did the best that he felt like he could do for her back then.

So years and years later my parents met and years and years later I was born and my dad raised me and hes been a standup man in my mind but there has always been a wedge between me and my sister. Because I’ve always felt like she was maybe jealous that he raised me and not her because of how she treated me. I spent years trying to be in her life and in my neice and nephew lives but at some point after continuing to feel rejected by her I had to move on without her in my life and only love her because we have the same dad and some of the same DNA. So for years we’ve been estranged, my entire life, I’ve seen my sister I think twice my entire life but last week we finally had the talk that was over 30 years coming and she was very open and honest with me about everything and her truth.

And she basically told me how in her eyes our dad didn’t really want her I guess, he never did anything for her, never gave her any money, I guess that in her eyes he wasn’t ready to be a be a dad when she was born. She felt like for the first 30 years of her life nobody wanted her because her mom never wanted her and my dad had to work she he left her with his mom to raise and to her he didn’t spend enough time with her when she was growing up, when he would go back home to visit. And even though to me I’ll never see my dad like she does because that’s not that man that I know, he was always there for me but if there is any truth to what she said, maybe back when he had her he may not of been ready to be a father back then all those years ago. I don’t know, its he said, she said when it comes to my dad and my sister and I’ll always be in the middle of it no matter what and no matter how many years pass.

But my dad says things completely different then what my sister saying, so I’ll never know who to believe or what to believe, my sister was born almost 30 years before I was born, so whatever happened between my dad and my sister was long before I was ever even thought of. But the conversation that me and my sister had last week was years in the making and it needed to happen for me and my sister to ever have any type of real relationship with each other and for both of us to be able to move on with any lingering feelings about this entire situation. And even though my sister will say that she let go of that not being wanted feelings almost 30 years ago, I’m pretty sure that she’s felt some type of pain and feelings about our dad raising me and still being with my mom and him never being with her mom and him not raising her.

But now I think that we can both put everything behind us and I hope that we can build some sort of relationship as sisters and maybe me and my sister having the talk that needed to be had can bring my sister closer to our dad also. Time will tell but I definitely think that this conversation needed to happen finally and I’m happy that it happened, it was a weight off of my shoulders and I hope off of my sister shoulders also. So to anybody that is in a situation like this, where a parent didn’t raise you but raised another one of their kids or if you’re the child that they raised but they didn’t raise another one of their maybe sit down and talk it out and maybe things will be better between you to and maybe the talk will help the situation. But I needed to speak about this situation in the hopes that it will help others in this type of situation and because I wanted to share a more personal side of myself for a change!

Times Changing But Staying The Same

I watched an episode of this show called unsung about music artist/groups that at one time in their career had amazing success and now they aren’t as successful/famous anymore or they may be dead or had members of their group die over the years. Long story short is they did a episode about this now iconic group called Lisa Lisa and the cult and I was looking at her hairstyle from back in the 1980’s and I was like wow this is crazy to see a hair style from over 30’s ago now be the same kind of hairstyles that we now wear today.

Looking at Lisa Lisa hair, I’m like wow we are now getting our haircut just like how she wore her hair all those years ago, its just another reminder of how life changes but stays the same also. And I actually love how Lisa Lisa wore her haircut back then and she said on this episode of unsung that she actually cut her hair like this on accident because she had been cutting her own hair and she cut to much off on one side. So I would have to say that she probably should get the credit for starting a hairstyle that has carried on for over 30 plus years.

 

Having A Parent/Father In A Nursing Home!

So my dad is in a nursing home, we had to put him in one a few months ago, back in September because hes 81 years old and hes a big and tall man. And over the last few years his physical condition has slowly been getting worse and worse and over the last year or so hes been falling some but by the end of last year it had gotten to the point where he was falling way to often and once again with him being such a big and tall man it makes it hard to get him up. And it has gotten to the point where my mom had to bathe him and where we would have to call people to help us get him from the bed to the bathroom and it just became to much by September. So we had to put him in a nursing home and oh my goodness how life has changed so much since hes been in the nursing home in so many ways for myself, my mom and my son.

First of all my dad behavior started changing a couple of years ago as he got older and older and me being so young I was & I’m still not prepared for any of this. But since hes been in the nursing home his behavior has gotten so much worse because he still has yet to accept that hes not coming back home because at the end of the day we can not take care of him at home anymore, he cant walk, he cant do anything for himself anymore at this point. He now needs somebody to take care of him full time at this point, he needs a nurse and somebody to take care of him full time and we cant do that at home anymore and he refuses to accept that so his behavior a lot of the time is terrible and this senile behavior started a couple of years ago and its gotten worse as time has gone on and hes gotten older by the day. But for me being 32 years old its been hard for me to know how to react and mentally handle having a senile father and a father that is slowly going down because of his old age.

But there are some good days when we go to see my dad, some days hes fine and he asks normal and doesn’t give us any issues, its almost like dealing with a bipolar person that doesn’t take medication, you never know if you’re going to get him on a good day or a bad day and some days it can be so draining and so much but this has sadly become my reality because my dad was so selfish to bring me into this world when he was 49 years old, when he had no business having a baby at that age and this is why people should not bring babies into this world past the age of 40 in my opinion because in the end their kids will pay for their selfishness and that’s not fair and its not right!

So I will continue to post updates on my journey with having a dad that’s in a nursing home, his mood swings and some of the times that I go to visit him. I know that I’m not the only person dealing with this issue, I don’t think that many people my age are dealing with this issue but I don’t think that I’m the only person going through this though. So I look forward to hearing from others that have or are currently dealing with having a parent in a nursing home.

The Creep Squad/No Real Man

watching love and hip hop and this whole “creep Squad” thing has been insane to me this entire time. There are so many real men that work so hard to never be called or looked at like creeps and work so hard to be better men then that. So to see these men on this show make it seem like its a good thing to be low down disgusting dirty men is insane to me and for it to be funny to them & for them to now capitalize on this whole “creep squad” thing is crazy to me. These are the type of men that no real woman wants and that every mother wants their daughters to stay away from. These are not the men that you bring home to meet your families and not the men you marry, they aren’t marriage or husband material. And for them to bring light to how terrible of men that are is sickening but makes for good TV!